Once the phenomenon of craving is subsided physically (by abstaining from those foods which are poisonous to me), I get into the real trouble with my addiction: my mind. I am too damn smart. And not only am I smart, but I'm also very clever.
It would be enough for a "normal" person to be told that they are allergic to a certain type of food and that it could and would kill them, and they would cut that food out of their life. Allergic to peanuts...no problem. Allergic to wheat...no problem.
If I were a normal person, that would be enough. I am allergic to certain foods, and I should avoid them altogether. No problem...but wait...can't I have just a little taste of it. That wouldn't kill me would it. Just how many peanuts would it take until my windpipe closed up...five peanuts...ten...the whole bag on the plane? Surely just a few wouldn't hurt me too bad.
That's the addicted mind. It's not just that I'm allergic to certain foods, but I also have a mind obsessed with food or rather, obsessed with anything that I perceive that won't go MY way. There are no excuses that justify the obsession or eating the foods to which I am allergic. Not only must I abstain from all addictive foods, but I must abstain from giving into my obsessed mind. And that I cannot do alone, but now I'm getting ahead of myself.
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